First Assignment

  DigBoston is an entirely new and different frontier for news writing.  In fact, a lot of it isn't really news at all; it's more of a local-happenings sort of paper.  Lots of music, food and bar reviews as well as opinion pieces.  One of these columns is called "oh, cruel world!" and is a griping column dedicated to the reader.  I, however, got the pleasure of writing one myself.  Here it is:

To my current roommate and so-called “best guy friend,”

Seriously?  You spend 4 days ignoring the dishes piling up in our sink in lieu of more important things, (ie: Assassin’s Creed III), only to rush them “clean” before your girlfriend comes over.  Like she’s really going to care if your apartment is clean when you two are just going to mess it up again anyway.

Speaking of your girlfriend, you need to take into consideration that your room is not soundproof.  I can hear everything from anywhere in the apartment, so stop waking me up, (apparently your designated fucking time is whenever my alarm goes off).  I don’t care if you got rid of your bed frame and shove a pillow in her face; I have the ears of a hawk.

Lastly, if you touch my food one more time, I will murder you.  You didn’t buy it, so don’t eat it.  I swear, if you go through another half-gallon of milk like it’s the only thing keeping you alive, I will insist you do a gallon challenge, (no, I’m not bluffing).

Sincerely,
The Only Girl Who Lives in The Apartment (until December)

  Having a sense of the tone of the paper, I wrote this based off of other entries from previous issues.  This was fun to write, (and get off my chest), so I'm hoping I have more assignments like this one.  Not bad for my first day?  More to come!